misses

its been such a long time. long time since i wrote here for real. i miss it. though it got too personal. that wasnt my attention. but yet when i wanna write, its always about something personal and more often somethin negative than positive. i reckon thats why i stoped writing.

merry christmas. its been a good christmas. but i miss my love. i wish we could have some kinda christmas together.

its so cold, empty and quite here. no matter im listening to music. its all so empty and silent. i want you next to me. i love you. and i miss you. come home.

1 y of love

Can't believe it's already been more than one year of love.

I love you. You have my heart and soul. I'm all yours. Yours to keep.


Photo from Berlin 2009

a beautiful friend

im listening to a beautiful friend. for the first time more or less in 1,5 years. i saw him live the night grandpa got really sick. it still hurts every day. grandpa was a beautiful friend, my best friend. i miss you.

14th of July 2001 in Trosa

Shooooes

I want these now!!!

Long time no see!

Hey ya!

Why did I leave the blogging? What happened, I love it, so what happened?

Spring '09 - I more or less lived at my boyfriends place, with no computor and both studying and working.

Summer '09 - Lots of work and travel

Autumn 09' - I've begun to study to become a project manager for building sites. so there is absolutly no time. But I'll try to start again. New food, new programs (eg. Photoshop, AutoCad) and stuff.

Here's Texas during my week this summer living in a house with him.

Berlin

Too tired to write, here's some pics=) Good weekend last week anyway!

Song of the week

My new found favourite song:
Alphabeat with Fascination

New Spotify playlist

Germany

I don't think I've told you, but I'm gonna be going to Germany again in early July with love, but this time not only for passing. This time we're flying to Berlin for a four days weekend, staying at a sweet hotel with king size bed and breakky until 1 pm!!! I'm really looking forward to it!

Here's my favourite photo of Texas and his sister Zaphira, both 1 yo last week!

Spotify

Ok, I love shoes. I also love music. From the "beginning" mostly rock and hard rock. The in 2007 I moved to Australia and by some reason started to listen to Swedish schlager as well as a lot of the fantastic aussie music. At my new job in the beginning of 2008 the art director was also a House DJ. After three months of hate towards that music I started to like it, then loving it.

The last year my "music style" has been mixed up completly - old rock'n'roll, dance, house, hard rock, pop...

If you have Spotify, here are some playlists I've made today:


Old Rock/Rockabilly

Soul/disco 70-80's

Shoes!

I love shoes! Sneakers, high heels, boots - shoooooes! In Australia I bought a lot of beautiful high heeled shoes. I got a call for about an hour ago from Erika, my dearest friend at the sunny coast. She was holding a new pair of Simona Ricci in her hands asking if she should buy them. Soooo I'm getting a package with shoes in a couple of weeks from Australia! Thank you darling!

She sent me this photo, perfect shoes for dancing for however long I feel like (with a pair like does approx. 9h without pain!)

Congratulations Bro'!

10th of June 2009

way

there s a way I know
there s a way I know
there s a way I know
someday someday I know
there s a way I know

Guitar

I've always wanted to be able to be awesome at some instrument. Was playing piano, keybord, tried drums, guitar and bass. Even flute. But I sucked, no patience to get good/no musical gift. When I was like 17 I decided to do a new try with guitar. A couple of years later I sold the guitar to my cousin. He is now almost 15 and is awesome with guitars. Here's one improvised song by Albin:

Extremly annoyed. Still.

God damn it. Working my ass off. For what? Cleaning up after people that doesn't care. Work 24/7 taking all of my energy. Is it worth it?

Where did my positive energy go?

We are the people

We are the people - Empire of the Sun

Shopping Spree/investments;)

I know, I've been really bad at writing here.. Sorry about that. Just too much school and work and I have now also moved into my boyfriends flat. Anyhow I've been spending some money lately.

Last week we went to a special Filippa K/Café/Elle night at Filippa K on Grev Turegatan. With some cold beer and stylists mingling around I spent some money on a linen tee and a pair of men's shoes. Very beautiful clothes/shoes.

Today I went to Monki, trying to find another of my favourite black skirt. Of course it had been sold out three times! But I bought a pair of tights, one stripy tee and a black giant singlet. All for 120 SEK less than only the Filippa K tee I bought last week...

I'll try to get some photos for you!

Searching

I'm searching through my calendars, looking for a day with NOTHING planned. A day when I can sleep aaaaall day, eat pancakes, bake something unhealthy, walking around feeling fabulous, doing whatever I feel like! It's been about 1,5 month now with work and/or studies every single day. I had my last mathematics exam yesterday and physics today... Tomorrow work. Should have been doing some laundry now, but can't make myself to do it.

After the exam today I went for some shopping since I managed to trash C's bedlinen (they were a little bit broken before, but since I'm not sleeping in the same spot all night they wouldn't stay that way). I've been thinking about buying Lexington and/or Gant but I decided to have a look at the Swedish brand Himla. I left with one giant white sheet and two beautiful white/turquoise/green stripey duvet covers. And two Black/white kitchen towels. I also went into a lingerie shop and got myself a new bikini - zebra stripes and silver attachments kinda. Looking all foxy, hahahahaha.
Just wish I could get a tan like that!!

Tonight: dinner at C's, relaxing, training at the gym and movie, sleeeeeeep!

Tomorrow: work, picking up Texas, having him and watching Eurovision Song Contest with C.

Can't wait until monday when I can sleep until 10am!!! Then work again...

Luxembourg - done

C and I went to Luxembourg saturday to monday this weekend. It was a good weekend at Hugo and Rosaria's. They are really nice and Italian Rosaria makes fantastic food. The weekend included: car travels around the country, castles, heights, food, party, beer, soccer, city walking and so much love! Great weekend! Thank you all!

Luxembourg

I'm packing my bag. A bag for a trip, a trip that includes planes. I just found my passport! On really early Saturday morning C and I are leaving Stockholm, Sweden for a weekend in Luxembourg with his friend Hugo and beautiful Italian girlfriend Rosaria. I hope it won't be raining too much.

Sadly my left hip is not doing to well. Shouldn't be sitting just walking or laying down. So tomorrow at lunch I'm going to fix my muscles, then buying lots of muscle relaxing gel's for the weekend.

Why I'm not writing so much at the moment? I'm studying 75% and having the last two giant tests next week and having a rather new job on 50-100% that has been taking too much time these weeks.

Give me a couple of weeks and everything will be fine again. Until then I'll keep doing things I never do: forgetting my keys or mobile phone in different places, jumping on the wrong train, not getting off a train in time, hurting myself, dropping things, smashing plates (not on purpose), being hyper or completely zero'd and so on...

I will be back in my old strong me soon, I promise! Until then, take care!

Ciao!

250

How?!

How do you manage to this? Anyone who saw it happening? Odengatan 7th of April

too much

it's just too much. fucked. up. sleep. bye.

Warmth

It's a very hot day for being in Sweden in April... And all the trees and flowers are going off at the same time - result? I can't breath, just like a lot of other Swedes. It's hard enough to walk, it's a very scary feeling, trying to breath. Anyhow. Went to my babe #2 - Texas. Just had to get out for a while and feel some unconditional love. Look at him! Such a gorgeous dog!

I've been feeling quit gorgeous today as well, for once=) People in cars waving and/or beeping the horn... Such a Swedish thing to find it offensive, I enjoy it, come on they find me looking good, of course I'm allowed to take it as a compliment! YOU should do that as well! Guys are not looking at you cause they are a pervert (not always anyway...) they're looking cause they find you gorgeous, take it as a compliment and move on for Christ sake instead of complaining.

Outfit of the day:
New dark blue shoes from Tiamo
Dark Blue 10th anniversary jeans from Acne Jeans
Oversized A-shaped white tee from H&M
Scarf, vintage from 1978
Pilot sunnies (fake from AUS)
Short black leather jacket
Undies from Calvin Klein
Black bag from Friis Company
Giant green bag from TATE (London museum)

please do not let me go

Help!

Help me figure out a new hairstyle! I really have to cut my hair off, if could afford it I would get extensions... Might be quit nice with less hair in the summer "heat" as well.. What do you reckon??

confused

Please help me straightening my thoughts out. Why can't i just relax? Enjoy the moment? Take things for what they are?

love

let's grow old together

Is this the price of love?

Yesterday, babe and I cleaned the apartment and whilst doing the dishes I hear this fantastic intro to a song. And the song just grows to this big awesome thing. I've heard it before at his place, but this time I heard it just completely rocked my world. Listen and enjoy: White Lies - Price of love

If you have spotify: http://open.spotify.com/track/2NE4r206qIInA3KL7NDFs9

Birthday!

Alrighty. So now I'm another year older. Hmm... It's been a good birthday weekend though. Got a package from BettieLi filled with makeup, some wonderful minerals from Taylor Made Minerals. Fantistic to work with. I wish I would be a bit better with make up though... Hmm.. Here's my party make up with make up from Make Up Store, Clinique and Taylor Made Minerals after several hours:
And my outfit, Leggings, black skirt from Monki and my birthday gift to myself: the top from Forever21 bought at Kameleonten.
For the first time I made myself a couple of princess cakes for the evenings (really nice actually):

Going wrong

They say I shouldn't be scared about saying what I feel like, making decisions or doing stuff. So when I let go a bit what happens? It's all wrong. Always. Stepping on toes. I better just shut up. Not getting involved. Not being social. No decisions. Cause apparently I might loose you otherwise. And I don't want that for anything in the world.

The Sounds

I think I did alright for being a first-timer/rookie. Here are some of the The Sounds shots. Check out more on www.flickr.com/photos/sophiatollebrant






Copyright Sophia Tollebrant Photography

Peter, Bjorn and John

I think I did alright for being a first-timer/rookie. Here are some of the Peter, Bjorn and John shots. Check out more on www.flickr.com/photos/sophiatollebrant








Copyright Sophia Tollebrant Photography

Dogs

I love dogs. I prefer bigger dogs. Tiny dogs are more like rats. I found people dressing their dogs ridiculous but after seeing dogs shivering I reckon clothes are quit good, especially for poor dogs who isn't supposed to be living in a freezing country like sweden. When I shot the model Sam in Australia he told me and my assistant a story about a woman walking her tiny dog along the water front, suddenly this shark jumps up and eats it. I just found it so unbelievably hilarious. I can still laugh my heart out about it today 1,5 years later. There are so many tiny dogs in the building I'm living in, I'm scared to kill them by stepping on them or whilst closing the door. Today I read a blogg post about something similar, it still gets me laughing. You can read it here (swedish)!

Breakky smoothie

Today's breakky smoothie:

* One apple
* One pear
* frozen mango
* frozen raspberry

MIX IT!

Live/promo shots

Tomorrow I will take my first real live photographs at a concert. I did take photos on a jazz gig at Fasching Jazz Club in 2006, but I barely knew my camera at that time. So I am very nervous, especially since my camera can't take high ISO and that's what it takes... So we'll see if I'll show you some later on...

This one of my favourite live shots:

Salem al Fakir
Copyright: Christian Ekblad

This blog

I've had this blog since late January 2008. The last couple of months the amount of visitors has increased. It's not a giant amount of visitors compared to other blogs, but I find it exciting!

This map is from my Google Analytics account (great stuff!) and shows a map over where my visitors are oriented. Yeah, sure most of the ones all over the world hasn't returned to my site, but I do have some returning from USA, Australia and England (a part from Sweden of course...) WHO ARE YOU guys? Is there anything special you find interesting? Swedish readers, does it bug you that I write in English? Would anyone of you want me to write more or less about something?

Shopping

Today I bought myself a top from Forever21 at Kameleonten. A really nice black party top with open back. Great with jeans, chinos or skirts. Last week I felt like shopping at Supremebeing's homepage as well, they have some of my favourite clothes on sale... God damn it. And I miss the brand Miso. Why can't we have brands like american Forever21, british Miso or Australian Morocco in Sweden? Awesome dresses, pretty cheap, not the best quality, but how often do you actually use dresses for years and years? Some yes, of course, those classical ones I'd buy from big quality brands. But seasonal party clothes - these brands are perfect. Not even H&M has a chance compared to them neither in style or price.

A dead snake

Busy

Since I'm getting more and healthy I'm also getting more and more close to my life before. My life before was filled with events and spontaneous happenings. My life for the last 6-12 months has been less and less outgoing, going to less events and only attending planned stuff. There are of course good and bad parts about going back to previous ways of living. So now I'm trying to figure out a life inbetween.

Anyhow, this weekend. Went to C, went shopping, he made the best pizza with every part of the pizza made by him (terrible wine though....), then we went to a opening night of an exhibition/photo battle with 10 of Sweden's best fashion photographers. For more information check this link!

We left quit early to Cobra Bar where my ex Art Director Fredrik from a past job had a good bye party/Dj session. It was good seeing him again, talking some shit and wishing him good luck in New York at a practice for six months! It's all his fault why I enjoy house music, he played fantastic tunes whilst we where there. You can follow his journey on the NudeYork website in a few days, I'll keep you posted.


Today I was supposed to go shopping for some birthday dinners with my pears, but I got this migraine so it was just to jump right into the bed and sleep for almost six hours with some pills... I missed out on the swim training session as well, that's the worse part. I really enjoy it and calling 1,5 h before and cancel is probably not popular for a five-six yo kid...

Now I'll try to watch a couple of old Sex and the City episodes and then sleeeep!

Finally!

It's Saturday. I don't really have the time to sit here, but hey, sometimes you just can't avoid it... Very soon I'll be at C's place. I've been looking forward to this all week. We met shortly this Thursday before one of his photo shoots, I just felt how much I missed him. I will still mostly study at his place, but just being in the same apartment is a feeling of joy and relief kinda.


Fantastic tune by John Mayer - Dreaming with a broken heart

The show dance

Fantastic!

Contemporary Dance

Tonight it was the Swedish final of Let's Dance (Dancing with the stars). Laila Bagge lost against the worlds (any more?) strongest man Magnus. Typical Swedish thing to vote on the underdog. The less good one. Tonight actually the bad one.

Anyhow, I love dance. I've been dancing salsa, jive and samba. Not especially good, but I'd love to give it all a lot more time and chances. So, I have been watching programs like So you think you can dance, especially whilst living in Australia. Apparently my samba teacher, Gianne was in the top 10 of Australia's So you think you can dance this year. In the American version Mia Michels usually do the contemporary routines. Here are a couple of my favourites:



Laila and Tobias last show number was a contemporary routine. It's not avaiable yet though. But compare it to these videos when I upload it later on and that there is not that much of a difference between celeb Laila and the proffessional dancers...

Are you serious?!

Texas has a crisis

Ok. The dog, Texas, is soon to be nine months old. He is almost 50 cm high and weights somewhere around 17 kgs. Since the beginning he's been a crazy puppy running around, biting and playing with everyone, never a cuddly dog (except when really tired). For the last couple of weeks he's getting better and better with our exercises and listens a lot better. And he's started to be cuddly and jump up in my lap and sit there. Like as if I would be able to do anything with him there (I'm not a tiny person, so there is room...)! I think he is having a personality crisis and reckon he's a tiny dog, a lap dog.

Video from me and Texas training on the balance....

Today

Today I went on an interview. I want that job. So much. I love the company and the people are great. It would be so perfect. Fingers crossed people!

I'm having problem with the maths in school. It's not enjoyable at all. Not easy in any way. And since I realised that I doesn't necessarily need the course I kinda lost the tiny motivation I had to make it through. My motivation to do it anyway is that I've decided that I can't see my boyfriend before the test unless I have studied a lot more than now. And I really wanna see him! I prefered when we were almost living together, don't like being away from him or in my tiny (but cheap) room. Things you have to do whilst studying/trying to make it as a photographer...

Luxembourg here we coooome!

Yesterday we paid our tickets. Finally a trip planned!!! Yeeeees! C and I will go to Frankfurt - Luxembourg in early May, seeing one of his best friends and beautiful Italian girlfriend. This is soooo good. I'm so happy! Hopefully we'll be able to go to Alicante as well. It depends on how my economic situation will be at that time. I'd love to go to Italy as well. And dreaming about winning on Lotto so I can bring my love to my home in 2007 - Sunny Coast, Australia. Just enjoy the days in the surf, at Riba Kai at the Sunshine Plaza in Maroochydore drinking ice coffee (milk, ice cream, cream, coffee), laying in the sand at the wakeboard park shooting awesome photographs, bbq in the sunset, getting dress in wonderfull dresses, drinking asti with Erika and dancing at Vibes and Fridays/Wharf Tavern all night loooong! Having a pizza slize and coke in the sand with the feet in the water watching the sun rise over the Pacific Ocean. My looooord I miss those parts!

No see

Gosh, time has just been running passed. Sorry I haven't had time to write anything for a while. It's been my fathers birthday! Congrats Daddy! A part from that, an exam, lots of cleaning, cooking, laundry, walking, thinking, studying, party and of course hanging out with my love.

Today I had some mathematics. I need to step the game up now. For sure. It's too hard to just tag a long.

It's been one of those days when I reckon no human being is beautiful, sexy, cute, nothing - just ugly stuff on two legs. It's a very weird feeling, usually I'm walking around looking for models and beautiful people in general. But no-one caught my attention in any good way today.

Hahahaha

Chameleon

Am I a chameleon, afraid to be having a different look or just doesn't wanna take a side? When it comes to clothes that is. I've always seen myself as a chameleon, changing look/outfits after where I'm going/doing. Or putting on clothes that's the opposite of the rest (when I was like 12-17yo). I don't think anyone that knows me would say that I'm having a certain style. I've always seen that as a good thing or is it just weak? That I can't make a stand? I'm getting interested in different kinda fashion depending on what people I'm hanging out with. But without loosing other styles. One day I may be wearing proper "office"clothes, the other day super skinny jeans and a oversized tee or why not a fancy dress, perfect hair, high heels? Sometimes I wish I had one style. And the drive to get up a bit earlier every morning to get the outfit and make-up perfect every single day. But no, instead I look fancy one day, trashy another or lawyerish the next. What kinda style do you reckon I have? What style should I try to get into? What should I avoid?

Outfit of the day:
80's/90's look...
* The Petroff über80's pilot jacket from 1982
* High waisted normal fit Levi's
* Foo Fighters band tee
* Fluffy blonde hair under a snow white loose fit beanie
* Nike Blazer
* Red skin belt

Outfit of the day

A bit different today (not that I always look the same...):

* Superskinny high waiste jeans, dark blue from Wire
* Nike Blazer Special Edition from Trampolin (white/yellow)
* Red singlet from Tessie
* Oversized white tee with a lion print from Gina Tricot
* Hoody from Zoo York
* Original Pilot Jacket from Peltroff (Vintage)

just look and listen

Australia

Today, me and grand ma went for a lunch after school and another (!) trip to the cinema. Yes, third time in 8 days. We saw Australia (2008). I hadn't heard too much positive critics about it. But I really liked it. Very long though, almost 3 hours. It was kinda like two movies in one. After less than half I thought it was the end, but it all continued. I felt quit emotional a couple of times during the movie. It moved me, need less to day. Anyhow, I reckon you should see it, and at the cinemas if you get a chance whilst it still on!

Grey

Man, this week as gone by as a breeze... It's crazy. Five days off and they disappear before your eyes.

I spent the Monday with my cousins and brother watching Madagascar 2 on the movie s and just hanging out. Good day. Tuesday. During the Tuesday I actually managed to put myself together sorting papers and working a bit. Left everything upside down though and went to C. Wednesday. My every week appointment and the off to Espresso House on Kungsgatan where Tove works. I had lunch there. And coffee. Mocha Latte. And tried Chai Latte for the first time, hated it at first, came down to liking it at the end though. Then a cappuccino and muffin. I sat there for more than three hours. Bought cream buns for my parents at Gateau and then home. The off to Plantagen (a shop for flowers, planting and stuff) and City Gross. Got back with Mr at about half past seven, starving. Thursday. Went to my cousins again, picked the older one up - went to central Stockholm. Shopping. We managed to get five t-shirts and one cardigan for 533 SEK. I wish I could buy stuff that cheap! Then we met our grandma and the other cousin for another round at the movie s. Bolt. Dinner in Bromma again. Fabulous food and wine as always! Friday. Went to a shoe-maker on Roslagsgatan getting my newer pair of Fornarina Boots fixed. That's about it.

During my hours at Espresso House two gorgeous women came in there. You know, the natural kinda beauty that anyone would kill for, that I would kill for working with! ANyhow, one of those girls were wearing a pair of tight grey jeans. I haven't liked grey jeans before. But I find myself loving them on these trained/skinny girls out on the street. These are one of my favourite pairs on the market from Acne:

what did we just loose?

We can't see what we don't believe
we can't dream of reality
with our heads in the clouds
and our hands in the air
we try to catch something
but nothing is there

we fall down before we start
we only want to play our part
Yeah our minds are a wash
with all this talk
Am I making sense?

Tell me honey can we ever find the truth?
tell me honey will we ever see one view?
I can't connect if I can't relate to you
and we can't accept what we do not get to choose
tell me honey, what is it we do?
remind me honey, what did we just lose?

You know I've tried to understand
I know you've tried to hold my hand
But try as I will I can not see
am I making sense?

Tell me honey can we ever find the truth?
tell me honey will we ever see one view?
I can't connect if I can't relate to you
and we can't accept what we do not get to choose
tell me honey, what is it we do?
remind me honey, what did we just lose?

Honey - Lovers Electric

I've only heard the song Honey in a house version until I found the original on youtube. But here you got my favourite version, the house one:



Antoher really nice song in one of my 1,5 hours long house remixes is Pnau - Embrace:

Birthday dinner outfit

Yesterday we had a three course dinner at "Den gamle och havet". Very nice restaurant with fantastic food. Enormous portions and a bit to high sound level though, the only minus'. We were there celebrating grandma's 70th Birthday.

My look for the night (might get a photo from the people with camera later on):
* Black shirt dress
* Black tights
* Black really high healed Fornarina Leather/wool boots
* Black cardigan from Billabong
* Black belt with gold details (Vintage)
* Black leather/gold purse (Vintage)

* Straight fluffy blonde hair, very light makeup, a bit rocky-black around my eyes and a very red lipstick.

My cousins (11 and 9 yo) thought I looked like the Swedish artist Amanda Jensen (I reckon because of the blonde hair and red lips...)
Photos of Amanda Jensen from her website

hair

I've been blonde since I was a kid. Really blonde, like a lot of other swedes. Sadly for me it didn't continue that way, no. Since almost 8-9 yrs back I've been doing foils to control my blondeness. I've had long hair, short, very short, weird hairstyles, cool hairstyles, Robyn-hair... Usually I change my hairstyle radically twice a year by my London hairstylist Charlie. Inbetween I'm going to some more conservative hairdresser who just "straightens" the earlier look. I'm tired of my hair the way it is now. Charlie wants to cut it off. I don't, I want looooong platina blonde hair and some nice fringe. These are some of the styles and colours through the years:
Probably the most common hairstyle throughout the years since I was a kid, midlong blonde.

"Rock-cut" Almost a bit 80's/90's hockey hair...

Straight, big fringe and coloured in one brown and a really cold, almost grey blonde colour on top.

Graduation curly

The haircut that was the third - all-getting-shorter-hair-cut by Charlie. Just before easter, into the morning paper all over Sweden... I hated it. Bought a cap and big black sunnies the day after. Didn't return to Charlie for about 1,5 yrs...


My favourite hair cut by Charlie throughout the years. Half into a bob, the rest long and really straight - platina blonde.

What do you reckon I should do with my hair?