It's not over, not over, not over yet

The last weeks I haven't been the most stable person to hang around. And lately I've been feeling how I'm about to loose more of the ones that means the most. I hope I won't. Not yet anyway.

The funeral is comin soon. I wanna have speech to grandpa. Dunno know if ill be able to. It still hurts as much today, exactly two weeks later as those days. Time will never heal this wound.


It's been a good day. Been watching and photographing the Stockholm Marathon with my pears. Got some nice pics. We had dinner on the way home at an Italian Restaurant at Birger Jarlsgatan. Very nice!

Tomo it's time for some training with my personal trainer. Haven't been training for a bit more than two weeks. So it will be hard, but good. Looking forward to it. Wish I would have been able to go to granma tomo as well, but sometimes things just won't match/work.

Tonight the Aussie people are having a reunion in Helsingborg. I wish I would have been there together with J. Was dreaming about going there since I got the invitation months and months ago.

I wanna go away for a while. Travel. Inside sweden or Europe or anywhere in the world, big or small, alone or together with someone. Time to leave for a while?

it hurts

its just so hard. youre trying to be strong and supportive. every night youre wondering when the tears are going to end. how many are they? i just wanna disappear for a while. i feel so alone. im not alone. not at all. not in any way. but i lost my best friend. i lost my soul mate. i lost my grandpa. not just any grandpa. the best one ever. of course theres emptiness. and will always be. no-one can fill that big part of my heart and soul. no one.

alcohol

hasn't been drinking for a while. at all. and i won't.

Crazy hairstyles

Another swedish musician that I love is Eric Gadd. I love old and new stuff just as much. I started thinking about him when I watched the videos with A Beautiful Friend - they have to go to the same hair stylist at the moment=)

Latest single and great video with Eric Gadd (for the first time for a long time he's making music in swedish again) - Tvåhundratusen


C'mon let's love

I'd like to recommend

I'd like to recommend "A Beautiful Friend" (Pelle Ekerstam). On thursday J and I went to Södra Bar in Stockholm to watch his live perfermance. Very good and personal concert! If that wasn't enough he is very nice in person as well.

I would like to describe the music as melodic, pretty calm, soft - just the perfect music on a sunday.

Emotions on a leash


Ageing

i'll miss you forever

Rest in peace Moffar Bengt 'Blixten' Andersson
11th of January 1937 - 17th of May 2008

You're the inspiration

Keep on fighting my inspiration

The Sound Factory

Today I was shooting some pics at The Sound Factory for their new website. I'll let you know when it's up and running!







All photos Copyright Sophia Tollebrant

Live music in Stockholm, thursday!

On thursday you can see Jason Mraz, Kate Ryan, E.M.D, Linda Bengtzing, Patrik Isaksson and so on in Kungsträdgården, Central Stockholm, the concert is for free!

Some favourite tunes:

Jason Mraz
Sleeping all day... sleeping all day to dream about you


1000 things

Kate Ryan


Awesome training tune! Libertine:

I want you

I feel, alive, now I can breathe again
I feel you, I want you
I know your touch is all I need
I'm waiting, you're shining

I can love

I can fly, but i want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness, but I crave the light that he brings
I can love, but I need his heart
I am strong even on my own, but from him I never want to part

Gabriel - Lamb


I am so happy, so happy with you

Song of the weekend and day: Lamb - Softly

Totally life on a stick

In Sweden we have an expression that with an exact translation is "Life on a stick" which means that life is pretty good more or less. This weekend has been as much life on a stick as possible. It's been the best weekend for months and months and months! Just great weather, being outside, having picnic, watching the students Quarneval, having dinner out, meeting friends, fresh strawberries, j, smoothies, frappe, watching the boats and canoes go by in the sun on a bridge, getting sun burnt, playing fotball and volleyboll with my cousins - just life at it's best.

thanks, enjoy the weather, stay outside!

Forever in my heart

8th of May 1976 - 8th of December 2004

night notes

Security

Finally. The safe arms and presence that I've been missing. Thank you.

kom hem

No air

People that inspires you. I think everyone has people that inspires more than other. One person that always has inspired me to positivity, taking care of your body and living life all the way is Marcus Andersson. Since the first time I met him he has been spreading a life joy and determination in me. He is a good friend of mine. A great inspiration.

The person in my life that means the most to me is my grandfather. We have always been tight, very honest, for about five years he gave me a lift to the dressage training on tuesday evenings and on competitions. I don't know. It's a special bond. I think everyone has it to someone. My grandpa' hasn't been doing to well lately and today he got pretty bad. I didnt know how to breath. How would I be able to live without him? How could I be able to breath without air?

Take care of yourself. Take a walk. Find some sport or training that suits you. Dont smoke. You only have one body, you can't buy a new one. Sooner or later it will give up on you. Make a change. For yourself.

Song of the day: Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown - No Air

calm

Finally I got some quality time doing absolutely nothing! Today, the 1st of May we are having a 'red' day in Sweden - public holiday. So I have been sleeping, taking a loooong bath, sitting on the balcony in the sun, painted my fingernails, chatting, working with some photos, watching tv. Just relaxing. Calmness.

Tomorrow I'm going to work as usual. Plus I'm going to a music studio for a small freelance job. It's gonna be cool I think.

On saturday and sunday Im gonna finnish off a lot of half done photoprojects that I have laying around. No work stuff but still a bit unfinished. Not good.


I just can't believe how much you can miss someone. Someone that you barely haven't seen for weeks and then a couple of days in a row, and just cause you know that the person will be away for awhile you get paralized on the thought of being without the person. Crazy. But hey what can you do about? Im gonna look forward to see him again. Yeah you.