it hurts

its just so hard. youre trying to be strong and supportive. every night youre wondering when the tears are going to end. how many are they? i just wanna disappear for a while. i feel so alone. im not alone. not at all. not in any way. but i lost my best friend. i lost my soul mate. i lost my grandpa. not just any grandpa. the best one ever. of course theres emptiness. and will always be. no-one can fill that big part of my heart and soul. no one.